The last few weeks before Isla was born, Taylor and I joked about every date night being the last date night for a long time. So, each dinner was a savored as our “last supper”. I knew how much I cherished our date nights, but I don’t think I totally comprehended just how much I appreciated that one-on-one time. For this, our village is our parents and siblings. I can count on one, maybe two, hands the amount of date nights we’ve had in Isla’s whole 16 months of life. And, they were all when we flew home to visit our family. Something I will be forever grateful for.
When I’m overwhelmed and feeling like I’m about to lose my marbles or keys or driver’s license (future self – check under your desk or the couch — there’s a good chance Isla shoved it under there with her ninja fingers), I turn to a few close friends who can have a play date with our Isla girl. But, that isn’t a regular thing. They’ve got their own kiddos and heaven knows they need a break courtesy of their own village too. So, I confess. I turn to the iPad in a crunch. Yes, her iPad is my village.
Then there’s the most crucial village that I have. The village that keeps me in check and remembering that I don’t have to know everything. And reminds me that it is, in fact, okay that I don’t know everything about mothering. It’s okay that sometimes I feel inadequate. No one knows how to be the perfect mother. You will sometimes lose your shit. You will sometimes shut down. But, the other times, you will love and you will love fiercely. As long as I keep striving to love and to nurture, I can, first: chill my balls, and second: know that I’m okay and normal. There are hard days and there are days that seem too good to be true. Today was one of those hard days, but I trusted my self enough to lean on my husband… and my village. The community of mothers that exist in this beautiful corner of the WiFi that keep reminding me that we’re all taking it day-by-day. Thank you for being my village.
Who’s in your village?